QSR Magazine reported that the average drive-through transaction at McDonald’s is longer than usual: 189 seconds.

For shame!

You mean to tell me I have to wait 3 minutes and 9 seconds for ol’ Ron McD to sling me some burgers and fries?

Surely you jest!

The outrage!

Oh, the humanity!

Somehow this isn’t truly fast food based on previous industry standards. Typically the drive-thru imprisons people for about 150 seconds. In 2003, Wendy’s transaction average was 116 seconds!

No wonder it suffered food quality criticism from customers.

But because our is a society of Veruca Salts who want it all and “want it now!” the very businesses who bank on delivering those wishes is overburdened trying to meet all our desires.

Seems the slowdown has nothing to with Ronald clip-clopping clumsily around the restaurant in his giant shoes. The bottleneck, according to a report in USA Today, is partly due to the sheer number of products McDonald’s is trying to serve from one restaurant.

When I was a kid, the Golden Arches served burgers, fries and milkshakes. End of story. The addition of Filet O’ Fish was radical, and I bet 20 years passed before chicken strutted its way onto the menu. (No, McNuggets don’t count. They were chicken paste shaped into squares and fried. Not real chicken.)

Now there are more than 90 items on a McDonald’s menu, including fussy coffees, the McFlurry, salads, yogurt parfaits, etc.

What’s making those dreaded wait times longer, though, is actually something good: Fast-food workers are taking more time ensuring customers’ orders are correct. Important stuff, ‘cause nothing ticks off a diner in a hurry like finding out someone else in a hurry got his order wrong.

Off with their heads!

Chick-fil-A boasts the highest order accuracy in the fast food segment, but customers have to wait a near-eternal 203.9 seconds for it.

Oh, clutch the pearls! Who could wait that long? Gandhi?

That we can get a fully cooked meal—nutritionally dubious as it is—in about three minutes is fascinating. The thought that created the systems to produce food so rapid is genius at work. Work that totally eliminates work from customers’ food preparation.

What’s also genius is the marketing that convinces us we not only deserve, but need food made edible that fast.

Is there anything other than lettuce or tomatoes that arrive at such places fully raw?

How else do you produce food so fast unless it’s half cooked before it’s even ordered?

I’m not anti-fast food nor a fast-food customer more than a few times a year, but when fully cooked meals can be had for a few bucks and in a few minutes, maybe we need to slow down a bit, consider why we need food that fast.